Success does not make you happy, happiness makes you successful.
Success does not make you happy
How happy are you on a scale of 1 – 10?
If your score isn’t 9 or 10, I wonder what is happening in your life right now. You may not be enjoying your job, you may have no idea about your future career path, you may be questioning whether you have the right skills for a career change, or you may be fed up with working long hours.
What would make your score a 10?
We often hear people say,
“I will be happy when I have a job I love.” “I will be happy when I get a good grade in my exams.” “I will be happy when I can afford a new house.”
It is so often the case that we postpone our happiness until a successful event has happened in the future. Once this event has happened, you have a new job or new house, it is mission accomplished and you shoot to the top of the happiness scale. Your success has made you happy…or has it?
It is indeed very common for people to think that their happiness is dependent on a successful event happening in the future. However, the problem with this dependency is that these individuals postpone their improved happiness and become focused on what is currently making them unhappy, rather than what can make them happy now. They focus on the jobs they don’t want. They talk about the skills they don’t have. They complain about the long hours they are working. There are so many things in our lives that can make us unhappy and it can be so easy to focus on them while we wait for a future success. However, this is what can make us feel miserable and we may be waiting a very long time to be happy.
…but if the future success actually happens, I will then be happy so that’s okay, isn’t it?
Unfortunately, the happiness we get from success will only provide us with short-term increased happiness. Think about it. When you passed your driving test, you were really happy but are you still feeling the same level of happiness now from that event? You will probably find that once you passed your test, the happiness from this success gradually wore off. You got used to being able to drive independently and it became normal for you. What now is going to make you happy? Do you wait for your next success? When will this be? How long will you be waiting for? You enter the happiness waiting game again.
Happiness makes you successful
The good news is that happiness is not dependent on the end result, it is not dependent on success. In fact, it is the other way around. Happiness makes you successful and so if you are happy during the journey to the success you increase your chances of being successful – a win-win situation!
What can you do now to make yourself happy and increase your chances of finding the job you love?
Based on research carried out by Positive Psychologist, Prof Sonia Lyubomirsky,
50% of happiness is determined by your genes.
10% of happiness is determined by the circumstances in which you live.
40% of happiness is determined by your actions, your attitude and what we do on a daily basis.
This is great news! You have a whole 40% to play around with to make you happy and increase your chances of being successful in finding a job you love. Use this 40% to start considering the following steps and make changes in your life to make you happy right now.
- Focus on what is right, building on the skills and positive attributes you already have.
- Discover what gives you meaning and pleasure in life. What are your passions?
- Take part in activities that fully engage you.
These steps will raise your score on the happiness scale and increase your chances of being successful in finding an amazing job.
The Tea Model
Steps 1 – 3 above forms the basis to Stage 1, ‘Time To Think’, of my Tea Model Career Coaching Programme. Stage 1 ultimately helps you to be happy and motivated as you work towards finding a job you love by considering enjoyable activities you can do now to improve your well-being as well as enhancing your appreciation of your skills, interests, knowledge and values.
This is not about waiting to be happy, it is about focusing on the positive and taking part in activities you enjoy to enable you to overcome current challenges, raise your happiness score and give you the best chance of success in finding a job you love.
Don’t wait for happiness to happen to you…Do things now that will make you happy.
My passion for helping children has continued in a voluntary capacity leading me over the last couple of years to designing my primary school confidence coaching programme (
Everything you read in my book (
It’s that time of year when I do a round-up of all my articles and blogs for the year. I do this so that when reflecting on your career (as many do over Christmas and New Year) you can quickly scan through this round-up and read what is relevant for you. I hope it is helpful!
It doesn’t seem that long ago when I was writing my 2017 round up and already we are looking forward to our next Christmas break. I wonder what lies ahead for your career in 2019. Will it be a career change? Will you be returning to work? Are you facing any uncertainty at work, perhaps through redundancy? Perhaps you are contemplating having a break from work? Is there a promotion you have your eyes on?
Will you be pondering over your future career during the Christmas break? If so, perhaps one of my blogs from 2017 will help to guide your thoughts. I have provided all the links below (please excuse any inaccuracies with the publishing date– these became slightly muddled when I launched my new website in June!).
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” (Wayne Dyer)
Tessa Armstrong 