‘Showing negative emotion is not the done thing.’

The danger for your career of accepting the views and opinions of others without question.

emotions

Recap…

In my blog ‘Six reasons stopping you getting the job you’ll love’, I discussed how the way we deal with our emotions and feelings can stop us getting a job we will love due to the vicious cycle we can find ourselves caught up in.

When something happens to us (a trigger) in the environment around us, we automatically think something in reaction to this trigger which will make us feel in a certain way and subsequently act in a certain way.  Our thoughts, feelings and actions are all linked together and form a cycle.

The vicious cycle develops when we do not handle our feelings during the cycle in a constructive manner.  Often individuals respond to challenging events by ignoring the negative feeling triggered to provide them with short-term relief from the situation.  However, negative emotions do not simply disappear. The more they are ignored, the more they continue to grow under the surface until things get so bad they burst out in an unhealthy or unhelpful manner.

In my blog, I refer to six ways individuals can hide or ignore negative emotions and today I am going to focus on number 1,

Acceptance of the views and opinions of others without question.

Imagine you have been brought up being told that ‘Showing negative emotion is not the done thing’. 

You are now in the working world and have been having a really tough time at work over the past couple of years and are considering a career change.  You have just about been able to keep your head above water at work, but you have little confidence or motivation to enable you to think about pursuing the career change you wish for.

The main problem you have been experiencing is being able to keep up with expectations.  You live in fear of not being good enough and this makes you feel worried and anxious. However, you have always been told that showing negative emotion is not the done thing and so ignore these feelings and pretend everything is fine.  You keep going but end up working longer hours with sleepless nights and don’t seem to be achieving anything.   The vicious cycle has been entered.

As stated above, we know that ignoring negative emotion provides us with short term relief, but the emotion remains growing under the surface.  The more it is ignored the more it grows until you can’t cope, and it bursts out in an unhelpful manner negatively affecting your confidence and motivation.

Will believing ‘showing negative emotion is not the done thing’ help you pursue a career change and achieve what you want to achieve?

Probably not.  It must be exhausting pretending everything is fine.

Can we really believe that we should never cry, show frustration or let on that we are feeling anxious or worried about something?

Think about the impact of all this pent-up negative emotion building up inside everyone!

Will believing ‘showing negative emotion IS the done thing’ help you pursue a career change and achieve what you want to achieve?

Yes!

Showing negative emotion is OK when it is expressed in a healthy and constructive manner.

Being able to express negative emotion in a healthy and constructive manner will make you feel better and able to move on.  You just need to be aware of when you are feeling negatively and do something about it.

Talk to someone you trust, write it down, go for a run and process your feelings in every step….do something to allow yourself to feel. Don’t ignore it and pretend everything is fine as this can lead to greater problems in the future which will have an effect on your ability to handle situations such as a career change.  Instead, you will become someone who is able to manage their emotions and achieve what they want to achieve.

When the attitudes and beliefs of others are forming who you are and affecting what you can achieve, consider these attitudes and beliefs by distinguishing between the helpful and the unhelpful ones.   Leave the unhelpful ones behind and take the helpful attitudes and beliefs  to enable you to move forward confidently and achieve in your career.

 

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