fear of failure

Three steps to overcome your fear of being judged

tessaarmstrong.co.uk Career Change, fear of failure, job search, Performance at work, Redundancy, Returning to Work, Uncategorized , , , , , , , ,

Good-bye-Comfort-Zone

Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone. (Robert Allen, author/speaker)

I have recently been busy updating my social media accounts, an activity many would find easy as it simply involves updating profiles and sharing useful messages and articles. However, for me, it is not so easy. It takes me right out of my comfort zone and, when I wonder why, I think this is because part of me fears being judged through social media’s power to amplify public opinion.

What will other people think of me? What happens if a negative comment is posted on my LinkedIn or Facebook page for all to see? What happens if someone disagrees with me?

In the end I sometimes find myself procrastinating over the perfect wording to avoid judgments being made. Perhaps that is the lawyer in me requiring 100% accuracy and perfection! However, is perfection possible? Can I really control other people’s reactions in this way? No, of course I can’t, and the immediate and public nature of social media does not allow for this. To be noticed you need to step out of the norm (despite the risk of attracting diverse attention). There is also no time for procrastination when you have a business to run!

As well as procrastination being a risk factor, the fear of being judged can be really debilitating for some people. It can quickly lead to a loss of self-esteem as it causes individuals to become anxious or easily embarrassed. Not many people want to look silly and this can lead to individuals keeping quiet rather than doing what they want to do.

Does this fear sound like something that is affecting you from confidently moving forward with your ideas?  If so, use these three steps to help you to challenge your fear.

  1. Be decisive – do you want your fear of being judged to hold you back?  Your fear affects your feelings and these feelings affect your behaviour, preventing you from achieving what you want to achieve. Don’t let the opinions of others become more valuable than your own individuality, allowing others to hold you back. You may miss the career opportunity you have always hoped for.
  2. Be curious – think of something more useful to believe.  It is your thought patterns around fear which need to change first to enable you to change your behaviour. Instead of holding a fear of judgement, replace your thoughts with curiosity. You may learn new things that help you move forward with your plans and strive towards your goals.
  3. Take action….    

…..I am now going to be bold and take action by inviting you to follow me on LinkedIn or to Like my Facebook page. Please also share anything that you believe would be useful to others. I share lots of information to help those wishing to change career, develop their career or improve performance.

I am also thinking about making and sharing short video clips with helpful career tips…watch this space!

Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone. (Robert Allen, author/speaker)

http://www.tessaarmstrong.co.uk

Overcoming Fear of Failure – Making a Career Change Possible

tessaarmstrong.co.uk Career Change, fear of failure, Uncategorized , , ,

career-coaching

Have you ever thought about changing career but have been so afraid of failing that you decided not to?

In the UK, we are surrounded by opportunities and choices yet so many of us do not take advantage of what is available. We have the option to find a career best suited to our personalities yet choose to remain in a disheartening career because we believe a career change is simply not possible.

Fear of failure is one of the most common beliefs preventing career change.   You may be a perfectionist, a procrastinator or feel you are not good enough. These all come from a fear of failure and can cause you to miss out on career opportunities, leading to unnecessary stress, worry and unhappiness.

PURSUING A CAREER THAT BEST SUITS YOU

A fear of failure can be overcome through changing your thought pattern. Be willing to change and this will be possible. Here are a few steps to help you:

  1. Be aware of your belief, ‘fear of failure’, and the reasons you have for supporting this belief (perhaps you made a mistake in the past or did badly in an exam at school).
  2. Ask yourself if it is useful for you to continue clinging on to these past experiences/beliefs or whether it is now time to update your beliefs.
  3. If it is time for an update, decide what would be more useful for you to believe instead by turning your fear of failure into a positive statement. For example, ‘I am scared of failing’ becomes ‘I am successful’.
  4. Keep repeating your new positive belief; each time your fear of failure belief resurfaces, stop it and replace it with your new belief.
  5. Now take action to support your new belief. Fake it ‘til you make it! Use this new positive belief to empower you to take action.

You may now be thinking this is easier said than done or you are unsure of what to do next. Making the decision to change and knowing where to begin can be difficult and takes courage and perseverance.

I have had many clients who were desperate to change careers but believed it was not possible. One client believed that a job was not to be enjoyed. He had been told this by others in the past. He subsequently developed a fear of failure and remained in a job he disliked. This client then made the decision not to waste any more time and worked towards changing his belief. This allowed him to explore career opportunities available to him.  He is now pursuing a career that he is passionate about.

IT IS YOUR CHOICE

You have the choice to either allow fear of failure to control your life or to overcome this belief and pursue a career that fulfils you and brings a smile to your face.

 

www.tessaarmstrong.co.uk

Does perfectionism hold you back?

tessaarmstrong.co.uk Performance at work, Uncategorized , , ,

maze

I have coached many people who define themselves as perfectionists. They approach me because they are struggling to move forward with their career for fear of making the wrong decision.

Perfectionists do not want to ‘fail’. They often want to ensure that any decision they make is absolutely perfect before proceeding with it. However, the only way they will know if their decision is right is by giving it a go and taking a risk. This turns into a catch-22 situation and the decision making process becomes extremely difficult and stressful.

It is really important to be aware of when perfectionism is helping you move forward and when it is hindering you. It can be a great characteristic for doing work brilliantly (although it can be unrealistically expected of individuals) but it can also hold you back from making decisions and attempting new things. For example, delaying a career change for fear of failing or choosing not to apply for a job because you believe other people will be better than you.

If you feel perfectionism is holding you back, ask yourself the following questions:

  • What is the worst that can happen?
  • How can you make it better?
  • What small step can you take now to bring you one step closer?

Also, have a think about the standards you are setting yourself. Are they too high?

Always set standards that are high, but achievable. Setting standards that are too high can be like setting yourself up to fail. How about lowering the bar, making your goals something you know you can and will do rather than something that is always beyond your reach.

www.tessaarmstrong.co.uk

Don’t give up on your career!

tessaarmstrong.co.uk fear of failure

career-coaching

Have you ever felt like a failure? You may remember an incident as if it happened yesterday. We’ve all been there! I can certainly think of a few times in my life when I have felt like this.

Feelings of failure can be very difficult to overcome. We often cling on to negative experiences, using them to justify beliefs that we are not good enough. We can be very hard on ourselves.

Unfortunately, these negative beliefs can set us up to fail. They can prevent us from doing the things we want to do achieve, especially in our careers. They also cause low self-esteem and perfectionism, making us feel miserable. We can miss some amazing opportunities through feeling like this.

‘Do not be afraid!’

As we prepare for 2016 Christmas, we will hear this phrase from the Nativity story a lot over the next few weeks so how about using it to help you move forward with your career journey. It may not be quite as dramatic as the Nativity but imagine how exciting it would be to start the new year no longer being afraid to pursue your dream career.

I know it can be difficult to overcome feelings of failure. However, it is possible and perhaps Christmas is the best time to start challenging those feelings.

Can you find the courage now to overcome your fear of failure?

How you answer this question is your choice. You can choose to end 2016 dwelling on past negative experiences or you can choose to challenge your feelings, learn from your past experiences and enter 2017 with a new positive vision of yourself and hope for your career.

Taking responsibility to change your beliefs will enable you to experience all the amazing opportunities the (career) world can offer.

www.tessaarmstrong.co.uk